When Writing the Story of Your Life, Don’t Let Someone Else Hold the Pen

When Writing the Story of Your Life, Don’t Let Someone Else Hold the Pen

All of us face our own fellowshipping/members issues. We will almost always find ourselves in various situations where we could choose to be offended by the actions of others whether intentional or not. I have found myself in plenty of these situations and sometimes I am the better man, realizing that it wasn’t intentional and move on.  Other times I fall into the trap of letting it fester and build up inside of me. I really do try to give the benefit of the doubt to individuals who have offended me and almost always when I approach them to discuss the issue, it usually turns out to be a simple issue of miscommunication.

This article was originally written by John Huntinghouse of LDS Smile.

That being said, I had one particular case where the High Councilman in the ward chose to intentionally humiliate me in front of the Elder’s Quorum. In his words “You are young and need to be taught a lesson and sometimes public humiliation is the only way to get through to someone like yourself.” I had served a mission, was going to college and was a functional young adult yet he was treating me as I was a Sunbeam (and even if I had been, it was still no excuse to publicly humiliate me).

For those who know me, I am probably the most even keel person there is. My wife literally has never heard me yell at her or any of our kids (though there are plenty of times that I feel like doing so). I’m probably one of the easiest going individuals out there and had he just corrected me in front of the quorum (even though he was factually wrong) I would have been a little peeved but would have probably just let the whole thing go.  But yet there I was in a situation where the High Councilman felt that it was appropriate not only to belittle my opinion but belittle me as an individual.

I have never been as angry towards an individual as I was during those few months as I struggled with this particular issue. I tried talking to him. I brought the issue up with the Bishop and even offered to “let bygones be bygones.” However he was too stubborn to admit that any of this was on him and refused to apologize as that would have “defeated the lesson I was supposed to learn.” It was hard going to church because when I saw him, all of my pent up anger and feelings came right back as if it had just happened. Even now, if I choose to dwell on it, it starts to bother me where I felt that I had been wrong.

Then one day I realized that I was playing the victim in the situation. I was allowing him to dictate to me how I felt going to church. I was allowing his actions dictate how I was living my life. As the famous quote goes

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen”
Harley Davidson




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