What Every Single Parent Needs To Know!

What Every Single Parent Needs To Know!

Divorce sucks.

Oh, how I wish there was someone who has walked in our shoes, who could speak directly to us and say exactly what we need to hear:

That divorce sucks, but it happens.

It happens to devoted Mormons and devoted parents. It happens to the wavering and the righteous, the young and the old, to short marriages and long term. It happens because of free agency, because of temptations, because of LIFE.

It happens and it will, sadly, continue to happen.

So, why aren’t we talking about it? Why aren’t we acknowledging that so many of our brothers and sisters are facing this roadblock?

This is for all the single parents who have ever cried out:

Why am I alone?

Why do I feel undesirable?

How am I going to do it on my own — I am not enough.

My kids are going to be so messed up — it’s not fair to them.

This is too hard.

When am I ever going to feel ok?

I failed.

Living this new life is an adjustment. Take it day by day, planning ahead no longer feels practical because now you know just how unpredictable it really is.

Here is what I wish I was told:

Fill your network with those who love and support you. Any toxic relationships you have been holding onto now need to be let go. You no longer have the time or the energy, and if you are unsure, the gossip mill of your divorce will soon determine if they should stay or not.

I remember six years ago biting the bullet and picking up my phone to tell my siblings. I have six of them.  I started with the oldest and made my way down, “Robyn, I’m getting a divorce.” Those five words scratched my throat and drowned my eyes in tears. “I’m going to be okay,” the mantra that I played over and over in my head aching to believe sounded rehearsed and phony. Just five more phone calls to make.

I had their unconditional love and support, I had their prayers and I had their reassurances. These were my people, the ones I needed most in my life, the ones that could never be taken away from me. My true friends were by my side and I felt not so alone, not so isolated. Not so different.

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Lead image from LDS.net

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